forse in un'altra vita

I am afraid to touch the pen and paper for the first time. I don't know what to write as I am absolutely lost for thoughts or am I lost in my thoughts? I start something new and I am unable to complete it. I feel unsatisfied with myself and the work I am doing. I want to feel like I matter and that I am important. I want to be praised for persevering.

These are some of the thoughts that runs through our daily minds for whatever reasons. Sometimes we feel we are not enough for a situation or person. While sometimes I feel I am not deserving of life. Yes, the truth tends to come out when our emotions are in chaos.

Who are we to complain as we wakeup everyday: we are being fed, clothed and sheltered while our problems get ignored until it is too late. When everything is about to crash, that is exactly when we get the help the need: when we are at our breaking point. People don't realize that this is the life they are living until they feel lost and empty. When our mental health crashes, our body goes through physical procedures in order to cure it. Which is why most times at first, we fail at getting better on our own. Anxiety and Depression are some of the most damaging and common mental illnesses in today's society. our society. These are ways that the body physically tries to fight for us.

Sometimes we fail to talk about what we go through as we fear the perception of others. And I am not hear to say fear not, as I, myself do struggle with things like this. When I was growing up, I never shared  these feelings with my parents, not because I felt uncomfortable and unwelcomed but because I didn't see my parents do that. So why should I? I did not bottle up my feelings instead, I let everything out.

We prioritize our mental illness yet glamorize it? Make up your mind. You cannot be in one day and out the next. You cannot be committed to an idea and depart from it the next hour. You have to learn how to separate your wants, needs and desires as they are rooted from society: well some of them.

And maybe in another lifetime, you shall receive everything your heart desires, but for now, these are just the facts of life.

Kayanna☺

And I will see you Friday!

forse in un'altra vita = maybe in another lifetime.